Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Reaction vs. Response


~ Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain
in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
~Winston Churchill~

I have recently encountered the positive through the negative.  How is this possible?  Through constructive criticism, my friends, criticism.

When I was working full-time (or even part-time) I was constantly seeking out my supervisors for their insights on my performance, and what I could improve upon.  I sought out their criticism because I wanted to be a better employee, and you don't know what to fix unless someone tells you... normally.

When you're running your own business you don't have a boss to report to.  You report to yourself, which is sometimes worse, and hope that in watching others or asking how others do their business you can better your own.

Recently, I was sought after and sat down.  What ensued was not a "bash Rachel session" but instead an opportunity for me to see how I conduct my business through someone else's eyes.  The things they brought to my attention were valid, and I am the LAST person to denounce anyone's insight.  Now, if they had sat me down and yelled at me for an hour, this would be a different story.  But I walked away feeling like they actually cared about me, and my business (a great lesson for me in how to approach people).

But here is where most people stop and get offended or brush it off... this is reacting.  I had two choices with the insight and criticism they gave me - I could get hurt and react, or I could take it in and respond.  Reacting takes no thought whatsoever, and it's what you're first inclined to do - get angry, defend, depressed, shut down, etc.  But responding takes a depth of character to look at your circumstances from someone else's perspective, apologize and then change the things that need to change.  You may be hurt in the moment, but if someone brings opportunities for growth to your attention, why not take it in and evaluate the validity of their words and the motive of their heart?

Criticism is hard.  Period.  None of us like to be picked apart, especially if you're like me and you do it to yourself all the time anyway.  But here is my challenge... ask one of your trusted friends, colleagues or even your supervisor for criticism on your character, performance or otherwise and see how you respond.  You may get some of the best insight as to what you can do to improve, and if you respond well it may make all the difference in that relationship.  Criticism is the mirror you sometimes never have the opportunity to look into.





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