Our First Child...

So I would like everyone to meet our first child... Ngenzi.  Please forgive the smatters of nonsense through this blog, but I'm writing through tears...

Do you ever have those moments... the moments when you realize that you may have it bad, but not as bad as you thought?  That was me over the weekend.  Doug West, a Compassion International Child Advocate, came to our church on Sunday and spoke about his own experiences with sponsoring a child in Africa.  It wasn't until this moment that forgotten memories came to the surface.

When I was growing up my parents sponsored a little boy from Rwanda.  I don't remember his name, but I remember writing him and sending him a soccer ball every year for his birthday.  Whenever we wanted to send Compassion money to buy him something (because that's how it works :), my Mom & Dad made us take money out of our allowance/savings like we would for any other family member or friend.  This boy wasn't just someone that my Mom & Dad sponsored, he was apart of our family.

I've changed my language about this boy... Ngenzi isn't a child I'm sponsoring... he's a child I've adopted.  In my heart, he's my kid... I want to take care of him and make sure he has a better life.  The high school kids I used to work with will tell you this... they were my kids.  I took care of them, and I promise to take care of this little boy.  If I don't, who will?

We have so much compared to other nations, and we have the opportunity to help in a real and tangible way.  Compassion is an organization focused on relieving poverty one child at a time, and they have a real and true cause with real and true results.  We hear so many times about the charity work that celebrities do...  You may not receive world wide accolades, or notoriety; but you will change the life of a little boy or girl in a way that will be unforgettable to them.  If you have $40/mo, or even if you don't... investing in a child is so much better than going out to eat on a Friday night.

Men at Chess

Yesterday I was sitting at Starbucks in Raleigh waiting for Lisa and Kirk to arrive for their engagement session... and stumbled upon this...

 

My immediate thought was "This is adorable."  And of course my second thought was... "Where is my camera?"  So, I ran outside to the car, grabbed my camera and came back in and snuck a few shots.

But here's what hit me today... Because of the things that have happened in my life I count the word "friend" something priceless and treasured.  The people that I call "friend" I know that I can trust with my raw emotions, and can help me weed them down to something more manageable.  These are the people that I can share my hopes & dreams with, and they won't tell me to get my head out of the clouds.  These are the people that I will cherish for life.  That I will play chess with when I'm 80 (if I ever remember how to play).

To all of my friends... I love you.  Thank you for being trustworthy and a confidant.  I will hold you dear in my heart and in my life until kingdom come.

Rachel Fesko 007 - License to Shoot (not kill)

So... I've been obsessed with James Bond since I was 10.  I have the normal hang ups - Sean Connery was the best, Timothy Dalton was a waste of time and Pierce Brosnan will ever be the picture of Bond in my mind.  That is until the wonderful, beautiful and ultimately gorgeous Daniel Craig graced the screen with his presence and stole my ever Bond loving heart.  But, I have never wished to be a Bond girl... I just want to be Bond.  I want to speak 4 languages, be mysteriously intriguing, carry a Walther PPK... the list goes on and on.

If you are or have been one of my clients you come to understand that breaking onto property, hopping fences and "No Trespassing" signs mean absolutely nothing to me.  My motto?  "It's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission."  If I see the perfect place for the perfect shot... I want to get it.

Along with my love of Bond and desire to become a spy... I have the desire for certain objects... Like a car that can drive via remote control:

Or a lock picking kit that I can hide in my wallet...

And I won't tell you that my parents had to take extra measures to keep me out of their house when I moved out and forgot my key :).

Jennifer & Russ' E-Sesh! - Love in Action

It was February 13th, and she was single.  It was a crowded night at the bar, and her girlfriends were protesting Valentine's Day along with the rest of the single population at Whiskey River that night.  Her friend continued to be pursued by a less honorable opponent, but quiet and in the background stood Russ.  He had been watching Jennifer, trying to see if she was open enough to talk to... and then it happened... his moment of opportunity... A dance contest.  He grabbed Jennifer's hand, ran up on stage and they took 1st place.  It's been love ever since.

Russ and Jennifer are two amazingly gorgeous people... inside and out.  They've had to postpone their wedding three times because Russ was being deployed, and then he wasn't... and now he is again.  It breaks my heart to see this couple torn apart, and the not knowing what's going to happen on the side of the world.  To all of our men in action: you have my prayers... To all of the girls waiting back home: you have my hope.

Reaction vs. Response

~ Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain

in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

~Winston Churchill~

I have recently encountered the positive through the negative.  How is this possible?  Through constructive criticism, my friends, criticism.

When I was working full-time (or even part-time) I was constantly seeking out my supervisors for their insights on my performance, and what I could improve upon.  I sought out their criticism because I wanted to be a better employee, and you don't know what to fix unless someone tells you... normally.

When you're running your own business you don't have a boss to report to.  You report to yourself, which is sometimes worse, and hope that in watching others or asking how others do their business you can better your own.

Recently, I was sought after and sat down.  What ensued was not a "bash Rachel session" but instead an opportunity for me to see how I conduct my business through someone else's eyes.  The things they brought to my attention were valid, and I am the LAST person to denounce anyone's insight.  Now, if they had sat me down and yelled at me for an hour, this would be a different story.  But I walked away feeling like they actually cared about me, and my business (a great lesson for me in how to approach people).

But here is where most people stop and get offended or brush it off... this is reacting.  I had two choices with the insight and criticism they gave me - I could get hurt and react, or I could take it in and respond.  Reacting takes no thought whatsoever, and it's what you're first inclined to do - get angry, defend, depressed, shut down, etc.  But responding takes a depth of character to look at your circumstances from someone else's perspective, apologize and then change the things that need to change.  You may be hurt in the moment, but if someone brings opportunities for growth to your attention, why not take it in and evaluate the validity of their words and the motive of their heart?

Criticism is hard.  Period.  None of us like to be picked apart, especially if you're like me and you do it to yourself all the time anyway.  But here is my challenge... ask one of your trusted friends, colleagues or even your supervisor for criticism on your character, performance or otherwise and see how you respond.  You may get some of the best insight as to what you can do to improve, and if you respond well it may make all the difference in that relationship.  Criticism is the mirror you sometimes never have the opportunity to look into.

Crystal's Bridal!

Crystal's bridals were beyond fabulous.  After seeing their ceremony today and their love for each other, I honestly have no words to go with this session... please enjoy.

This is the picture that she chose to display at the reception...

California Dreamin...

So that's my puppy... Ginger :)

A few months ago Ryan and I were heading out of town for a wedding, and we couldn't find anyone to watch Ginger.  So we called the hotel, and they were able to accommodate her!  You would not believe this dog!  She chilled out on the balcony all weekend long, and we could barely get her inside to take a drink.  She ran up and down the beach, and loved the sand (the water - not so much.  I think the waves freaked her out).

Ryan and I always claim California as our home, we may be "from" other places but it's where we felt the most like ourselves.  This is the place where we relaxed, and enjoyed the scenery.  It's where Ryan proposed, and where we went to school.  But to realize that we found a "California" dog in North Carolina... you  have got to be kidding me.  And now that I have a wedding in California next year I am ecstatic!  I get to go "home" for 10 days...

Over the past few weeks life has been hard.  We've had to make some tough decisions and come to some tough conclusions, but what's become so apparent is that we have this little California family to come home to.  We've learned to come together in the midst of trials, and not cause conflict over minuscule issues.  This is what family is all about - realizing you are more and more alike as the days go on... even if it's the dog.

Visit to LA... Louisiana that is...

When I was growing up my Aunt Kari would come visit every Christmas and over the summer.  Kari and my mom are 18 years apart, and my Mom had me when Kari was 10... so we've always been super close.  Kari has been like the big sister I never had, and even though we're 850 miles apart we're on the phone constantly.

So now Kari is married to Vance and lives in Louisiana with her two kids... Lydia and Caedmon.  Lydia and I are just about as far apart as Kari and I are... so the cycle begins again... Earlier this year Ryan and I went down to visit while my grandparents were here from Australia.  I just now finished going through all the pictures... and decided to share :). 

One afternoon I took Lydia into downtown Lafayette, and had the best time.  We had wardrobe changes and everything!  Later that same day we took the whole family out for pics... here are my favorites from the week.

All pictures of me were taken by Ryan Fesko (the hubby)

Some of the pics with Lydia at the historic house next door and in downtown Lafayette...

The family pics that night and the next day...

And my favorite...

Erin & Daniel Married!

I was nervous driving into Mineral Springs.  Pleasant Grove Campground was nowhere to be found on my GPS, and the closer I got - less signs of life were found.  So I stopped at a gas station, and apparently everyone knew where this Campground was!  Five minutes later I pulled onto the campground, and found the bridal party.

Erin & Daniel are two of the most amazing people.  The way they interact, their chemistry and the love that permeated their day enveloped us all.  Daniel is by far one of the most honorable men I have ever met.  The way that he speaks to people, treats his friends and the few times we conversed over the phone - he is congruent.  True through and through.  Erin is a woman that belongs in a King's court.  She is so elegant and beautiful in the way that she moves and speaks to people.  Erin is the same as Daniel - beautiful through and through.  I felt so honored to be apart of their day, and capture all of the fun that ensued.  This day was one glorious surprise after another...

Daniel promised everyone that he wasn't going to cry...

Erin and her Dad had a special first dance together... cowboy boots n' all!

And of course I saved my favorite for last...  Hello Kevin Kubota!