New Years Resolutions... like a good procrastinator... I'm late.

Life is funny sometimes.  It doesn't always go the way you planned, and you don't always plan the things that happen to you.  My mother always told me that we are all running a race, but if you look to see where other people are in their race then you go off track of yours.  Any good runner knows that you stay focused on the goal line... not the people beside you.

My motto in life has been, "That's not fair!"  Because I have justice issues... I just intrinsically know what's right and wrong, and if someone has done me or someone I know "wrong"... it's on.  I know... little harsh, right?

So here's a "not fair" Rachel Fesko story... are you ready?  When I was 22 I decided to go back to college... in California.  I left January of 2005, and LOVED it... Cali in January?  And I could wear flip-flops?  I was in L O V E.  At the end of the semester amidst all the packing and finals, I felt that something was wrong with my body... I couldn't concentrate, my hair was falling out (I wasn't pulling it out... it was f a l l i n g out!), I couldn't sleep, and in the middle of it all... I came down with a sinus infection.  Not good for a college student.  So what does every good college student do when things fall apart?  Call home.

God bless my dad... After getting off the phone with me he made a doctor's appointment.  Which I kicked and screamed all the way to... I didn't need to go to no stinkin' doctor!  I've got a good immune system!  I'll kick this!  I just need to rest.  Through a series of events, which I won't bore you with, that doctor's appointment led to me being diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer.

Because I was done this great wrong, there had to be someone to blame... because this just wasn't fair.  I mean, why me?  What did I do wrong?

What I didn't realize until this year was that I have still been carrying around that i n j u s t i c e, and I've been trying to play it off like everything was fine... when it really wasn't.  All I could see was the bad... instead of the good.

Good Stuff:
* I have a clean bill of health, and have had one for 4 years
* I had the best surgeon and staff helping me through the process, who I can still call at anytime
* I returned to school that next semester (4 weeks after surgery) and made the Dean's List
* I realized who my closest friends were... and ended up marrying one of them
* I'm alive

I can't keep looking at all the injustice in my life and be happy.  I can't keep demanding my way, and be happy...  I can't keep on fighting when I've already won, and be happy.  My New Year's Resolution is plain and simple...

*Be the most true expression of who I've been created to be*

And that person is happy... full of life... sanguine... hopeful... creative... spontaneous... and loves life.  Here's to a year full of life... and life worth living.

The day Ryan proposed